Pink Spiders

I'm freaking out.
MSP sent me an invoice for $400 that I apparently owe them, and according to their letter they have made previous attempts to contact me, but I never received anything in the mail until today. They're handing me over to a collections agency who will garnish my wages if I don't pay them by the due date, but, get this, the due date was 5 days ago.
I don't know what to do. I'd pay them, but I don't have $400. What am I supposed to do when I'm only making $800 a month? Payday is a week away, I still have my loans to pay, and I need to eat.

This is all getting to be too much.

Today I feel good. I was woken up by the sun shining through the blinds and I found myself thinking about you. It didn't make me upset this time, because I wasn't focusing on how much I miss you. Instead, I was thinking about all the things about you that make me happy and it made me excited for the next time we meet. I was also excited in another way, but I won't talk about that here. :p

I feel so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much.

I'm not ok.

I can't stop crying. For no reason at all, I'll just burst into tears. I don't even have to be thinking about anything particularly upsetting. Sometimes it lasts for just a few seconds, sometimes it lasts for 10 or 15 minutes...

This has never happened before. I'd like to know what's wrong with me.